I know I was supposed to ~*immortalise*~ my birthday week in a blog post but I haven’t gotten round to it completely. part of it is done and saved as a draft. today I’m so free and inspired but I realised I can’t blog about it because my photos are in my laptop and this morning, I sent it in for servicing.

warning: this is going to be a long, boring, reflective post about my relationship with my laptop.

hope you’ve had a good week. have an amazing weekend! k can close this tab now.

but if you decide not to…

I mentioned that I’m feeling kind of inspired– and this may have something to do with my laptop being unavailable. usually, after I get home, I just slump right in front of my laptop like a…worm? bug? the mandarin saying my parents used to describe me was 像个虫. as in 懶惰虫 I guess haha. anyway, with my laptop around, I’d be glued to it and I wouldn’t be productive at all. I think about doing work all the time. while refreshing and scrolling through Facebook, Thought Catalog, etc. but somehow I convince myself that I will after an episode of Mad Men. or whatever new movie I downloaded. this usually doesn’t end well– I just rot til dinner time and make dinner and after dinner it’s just rest time lol.

but today, because my laptop wasn’t around, it was too much of a hassle to go through my ‘routine’ (pls dear god I would really like to quit it for good) so I only watched suits on the iPad simply because it was the season finale. without a laptop, it became so much more inconvenient to procrastinate that I actually had time to rest and just spend time with Xr by watching the Office together. usually he just does his stuff (DotA) and I do mine (mindless scrolling through the interwebz)

after watching some episodes of the Office, we had dinner. then I rested in bed with a magazine I just got, which was precious because I have always wanted to do that– but the laptop sucked me in with it’s shiny screen and endless possibilities of wasting my time. I have a few issues unread, piled up from the past months because I couldn’t peel myself away from the laptop. I couldn’t make time to read them. weak sauce!

I even managed to take a nap! usually on the way back from school I’d complain about being tired and needing rest but once I’m in my room…what rest? I’m energised by my laptop!!! omg I sound like a frkn loser haha

to be fair, I didn’t do any work this afternoon as well but I feel relaxed– I feel like what I did was actually fulfilling. even though I watched shows, I managed to get some rest because there was nothing ‘better’ to do.

I don’t know why I feel a need to be ‘on top’ of a lot of things. maybe because I’m a hoarder? like, I feel a need to know what’s ~millennials~ are discussing/what twenty something’s are concerned with rn (via TC), what people are bitching about on Facebook, etc. a lot of the things we consume are junk, noise. omg I just realised my laptop is to me what the TV is to most households a few yrs back, which was a pretty hot topic among sociologists? this relates to what I learned in sociology a year ago, about being alienated and shit WAAAH. am I alienated?? tbh I kinda forgot what it means already LOL

so anyway I guess what I’m trying to say is. I think I’ve been addicted to my laptop? but then again I’m not sure because I’m not having withdrawal, I just feel freer without it. and that I should spend my time wisely, and improve the quality of things I consume, and not just take in anything and everything.

on that note, Xr and I are trying to improve our quality of life health-wise too– cut down on sugar and junk. I really shouldn’t take my metabolism and health for granted anymore!

my note to self:
I want to have more energy and to live consciously, not just go through the motions everyday.

hope you’ve had a peaceful day. think it’s only appropriate to say: namaste


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