we been together for seven whole freakin’ years, been through way too much, grown a heckuva lot and we’re pretty different people today compared to our 17/18 year old selves, ha! not sure where we’ll be in 7 days, or 7 decades – saying this to qualify that I don’t believe anything lasts forever, not because they can’t but because we can never know ahead of time, but I think having stuck it out the past 7 years was no small feat, we’ve both made a ton of sacrifices – which haven’t been particularly difficult decisions either – so cheers, mate. I’m so grateful you are in my life now. dedicating this cheesyass beautiful song to my big big love

I haven’t felt more at peace with myself and where I am in life than I have been the past few months. coming of age? adulting? self-assurance? I definitely don’t have shit figured out ha, far from it, but I’m completely at peace, ok with surrendering control. completely aware of the privilege of having a supportive, loving family. incredibly grateful for the strong beautiful souls who inspire me and enrich my life. feeling a ton of great positive vibes and want to etch them forever in the interwebz, and pass them on!

ps. fav artistes this year: frank ocean, kendrick lamar, miguel, drizzy, j cole, sampha … just really feelin them rap/r&b vibez

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truly love figs/fig leaves …  their fresh milky scent in personal fragrances, candles and soaps, the fresh fruit with its amazing colour and texture, the ‘small dark and handsome’ dried fruit, nom

today I recognise the transportive power of music and its effect on me. very grateful for its ability to bring me back in time and allow me to relive and feel certain memories and emotions. also immensely grateful for the massive variety of music made conveniently accessible via tech … this song above brought me back to Hallward, final couple of months in Notts studying for finals

been in a nostalgia-filled funk as the Beeston Buddies gathered on Saturday night for a few hours of what we do best — Resistance and drinks and nonsense until 3am, plus I saw La La Land on Friday evening (date night! ♡). I found it simple, easy to watch, despite the nature of the film (a musical) not filled with tropes and cliches, very well directed, and beautifully shot. I found some parts a little draggy — it’s not as tight as many other critically-acclaimed movies are but perhaps it’s not meant to be? don’t know, not a critic, not knowledgeable enough to comment on the merits/demerits of ‘tightness’, should probably read more — and it’s certainly not a ‘deep’ film with a ‘heavy’ subject matter / commentary on society / humanity, but I do still think it is worth watching, and it’s certainly not vapid as one may expect a of a ~romantic~ film especially one with a title like La La Land. I hardly ever feel inclined to rewatch films and I really want to rewatch it, I think because I want badly to feel again how I felt in the cinema. it was incredibly touching. definitely also helped that it was set in LA, one of my favourite stops in the states, I have such romantic memories of that sprawling, beautiful, hazy, congested, shiny city. music was amazing too, bloody earworms!

so many other films I want to see —

  • Moonlight — Mahershala Ali + Best Picture (that massive blunder tho…)
  • Manchester by the Sea
  • The Salesman —
  • The Lobster — been sitting on my desktop for the longest time…

this weekend I’m going to see Explosions in the Sky for the first time in my life finally after missing them at Glasto and I have a feeling it’s going to drown me in feels. cannot wait

current earworm:

I finally did it!!! drove home solo at night from Xianrong’s place! I’ve always feared driving at night because of visibility issues. but I took the plunge and I’m really glad I did — had to do it sooner or later anyway. it wasn’t easy overcoming the fear though, kept putting off leaving every fifteen minutes. so yes. +1 to life achievements!!!

this weekend was a weekend of tiny victories. I was very bummed about having to do work, again I also put it off — was meant to do it on Saturday afternoon but didn’t. thankfully I managed to finish it today. yeah, finishing it rather satisfactorily is pretty victorious imo haha got to enjoy my evening! seems like I work best when there’s some time pressure, ha.

speaking of procrastination, I’ve been postponing my CFA study plans. I was meant to begin in the first weekend of Feb, but I still haven’t done anything. I know I will regret this in time to come. I should really do this coming weekend, though it’s going to be a little tough since I’ve got plans, but hahaha ok no more excuses. anyway even if I don’t complete all I’ve tasked myself to, some progress is better than none!

what happened the past week:

  • got xr hooked on jamie xx’s remix of take care
  • Lin flew to Germany 😥 I felt so worried and sad before she left! but now I’m cool haha. so envious tbh, yes I’ve had my time, still…
  • received swimwear in the mail!!! kekeke
  • signed a package with a new studio, Yoga Lab! it’s at Duxton which is terrific — I’ll pass Hattendo otw from work LOL pre-workout snack how bou dah? *u* they’ve got a studio in the east as well, apparently it’s super nice cannot wait to checkit teehee
  • finally wore my new shades out FINALLY ah I love it sooo muuuch
  • parallel parked at frkn turf city without too much hassle — AW YISS. MAKIN’ SUMMA DAT LIFE PROGRESS

aite peace have a great week ahead everyone!

felt temporarily at peace and hopeful thru putting aside responsibilities, ha. definitely not a sustainable way to live…will have to figure some way out of feeling trapped. the day I dread Monday has finally come. not sure if it’s a sign for me to change my environment or work on my attitude/mindset? a fair bit of reflection to be had…

anyway. this article (every successful relationship is successful for the same exact reasons) is well-written and is something I would refer to in future, don’t want to forget it so I’m cataloguing it here

 

I’m trying to stick to my resolution to write more so here I am. without anything to write about. so I’m going to do a simple recount/log about what’s been going on in my life!

let’s start with the weekend…

Friday was an off day! Xianrong and I spent half the day making pineapple tarts, like we did last year ^_^ they were pretty good even if I say so myself…though big flaw was in the poor jam:pastry ratio. too little jam, too much cookie, so it wasn’t that shiok. we might be making a second batch this Friday so we’ll try to perfect it!!! we were supposed to make two batches then but got lazy. used Bake for Happy Kids’ pineapple jam recipe as a guide — I didn’t add that much sugar, simply tasted and went along — and followed the Sweet Spot’s pastry recipe to a T. spent 3-4 hours making the jam, stirring and watching it reduce, and another 4 making the tarts. mixing and kneading the pastry, measuring the pastry needed for each tart (we used 12g) and shaping them took up so much time. it wasn’t difficult, just repetitive and tiring. got quite unmotivated barely after getting into it so we decided to leave the second batch for another day

Saturday was Laneway/Rainway/Lameway. spent it in a poncho (Daiso $2 good quality would recommend). smuggled Koi in. with siblings and our plus ones. saw Claire, Qianhui and Jan there. it was also nice people-watching. crowd was rather young?! plenty of real young people like 14-15 y/os. had baos from Full of Luck Club. caught a bit of NAO’s set — that was fun and cute. headed to Poptart after, haha, fun initially, got a cocktail from the Reyka stand, Nordic Summer something I think, that was good, then left when they started playing songs we weren’t feeling. some Lizard Blizzard duno what band — did not enjoy. Bob Moses’ full set — another fun one, great intro, thanks Laneway/XR. Tycho’s full set — atmospheric rock filled the air during the brief respite from the rain. we laid on our ponchos laid on our tapestry laid on our ground sheet. thoroughly enjoyed that set, music was chill and very enjoyable, and the environment and general mood definitely added to it. a bit of the Tourist’s set — he’s good, will check out more of his stuff, thanks Laneway. Glass Animals’ full set — SO fun. what a surprise. XR and I were very disappointed when we saw them in Berlin, Lollapalooza 2015, god I miss Berlin so much, and Europe. life in Nottingham. back to Glass Animals in Berlin — yeah I think they weren’t very experienced then. must have played quite a few shows now, and perhaps the new album’s more fun to play/appreciate live. had a blast at their set. Nick Murphy (Chet Faker)’s set — thought it was alright. not familiar with Nick Murphy’s stuff, and his renditions of Chet Faker stuff were definitely different…maybe darker? wish I had seen him before he ‘rebranded’ as Nick Murphy 😥

wow ok that Laneway recap turned out long. what else happened…hmm. Sunday was spent at home. oh, lunch at Le Wu. horrible experience. food was meh, waited forever, girl who served us had a terrible year or something, what a pity. could have been a nice nostalgic meal. a swim school opened next to Le Wu and they placed a little step for passers-by to take a peek, appreciated that, got to peek at little bbs learning to swim!!! they were less than one I think?! really cute. but some seemed to really struggle…they would try to ‘swim’ for two seconds or so and when they emerged they would cough and squint, and their eyes were red…aiyo. after lunch I lazed at home, then went over to XR’s for reunion steamboat. that’s always nice. meals at his place never disappoint

then it’s time for Monday…

what happened Monday? ah I met Jess for the first time HA we met online when we were 12 via Blogskins…lermao. had lunch at Black Swan, which XR joined too. they met Muay Thai — they went to the same gym, like wOt?!? small world. so yeah now we are all acquainted! funny. then after work I had Mookata for the first time ever! at East Coast Road with Claire. then I went to get my hair cut at Roxy Square. proud of myself for walking through Roxy Square at 7.50pm when most shops were closed. Roxy Square is an extremely old mall, it’s like heartland Far East Plaza but way less spacious, with lots of shops with creepy mannequins. eugh *shudder*. ok I’m a pussy, I get creeped out easily, so there. anyway I’m glad I got my haircut!

Tuesday I played touch! brought Ann to this social touch group that plays at Kallang regularly. considering doing this regularly. cheap and I get to have a good run — woooop! then we got our disgusting muddy selves to Thomson for supper (after heckuva lot of deliberation, should we really…, maybe we should have fruits?, ugh but I’m gonna be hungry after for sure, ok let’s go, ah fuck let’s not I don’t feel like it, ugggh but later…, ok let’s do this, ok I’m just going to have something light will dim sum still be open?, *gets hargow*, get bcm anyway)

and here I am today.

in other news:

  • I’m almost done with the first book (fiction!) I’m reading in ages. like years. maybe even a decade. honest to God. I stopped reading fiction when I turned twelve or something. this one’s called Girl Meets Boy by Ali Smith. it’s pretty easy to read. simple language. characters are Scottish. references to Scottish/English culture were particularly enjoyable because I could relate. it’s quite modern too. so yes very relatable
  • attending a free lunch tomorrow keke job perx yippee
  • cannot wait for steamboat again on Friday will be making a chilli padi dip that Claire and I made in Notts for our steamboat god I miss my homies
  • I’ll be spending Saturday–Sunday in Malaysia
  • I will have no life after CNY because I will have to study but I would also really like to still make time for this. it’s therapeutic!